Hello!
When was the last time you hugged someone? Remember the moment?
Doesn’t it feel good to receive and give hugs?
If you are a hugger, or if you feel awkward giving and receiving hugs, there are things you may need to know about hugging that may surprise you!
A few months ago, I visited the newborn intensive care unit at our local hospital to see a friend’s baby. I was just in time to see my friend take her tiny preemie out of the incubator for a little hugging time. According to the attending nurse, the hospital encourages moms and dads to hug their babies because they’ve observed that cuddling, hugging and touching makes babies thrive!
Given this interesting fact, I was even more convinced that the people at the Hugs for Health Foundation are really on to something! Today, June 29, is after all Hugs for Health Day!
Babies who are touched and hugged have been shown to breastfeed longer, stay warmer and calmer and, even, cry less. Hugging one’s baby also makes for better child-parent bonding. In a study of Korean infants in an orphanage, those who were given an extra 15 minutes of talking to, touch and attention gained more weight and length in a specific time period than children without the extra minutes.
According to psychologists, this is because Touch affects the area of the brain called the cerebellum, where emotions such as trust and affection are believed to be centered. Moreover, researchers at University of North Carolina have found that hugging releases the hormone oxytocin, also called the “bonding hormone.” Oxytocin induces feelings of love, contentment, calmness and security.
At the same time, hugging brings down the levels of the hormone cortisol, a hormone stimulated by stress, thereby lowering blood pressure and reducing elevated heart rates, which in turn protect us from heart disease.
This means then that having a nourishing and loving relationship works wonders for one’s heart and one’s health! In fact, further research has revealed that male heart patients in happy relationships recover faster and stay healthy longer than those with emotional distress or conflict in their lives.
Because of its benefits, an entire exploratory discipline has been built around touch. Called “touch therapy,” practitioners are discovering that therapeutic touch also lowers pain, helps with anxiety disorders and reduces the symptoms of Alzheimer’s disease and Asperger’s syndrome. Further exploration into oxytocin’s effects have also uncovered that this hormone decreased certain symptoms of autism in autistic children and adults. Based on the results of a New York University study, therapeutic touch has been known to increase hemoglobin levels in the blood, increasing the delivery of blood to tissues. In addition, mental health care providers have found that hugging can lift depression, strengthen a person’s resolve and improve mood, particularly important for those going through any form of personal crises.
Now, in spite of all these benefits, there are those who feel uncomfortable or awkward touching or hugging. Perhaps you are one of these people. Maybe you have experienced something in your life that has changed your outlook on relationships, maybe touching was not the practice in your family of origin, maybe you are simply particular about your personal boundaries. Don’t fret too much – choosing to hug someone is always your choice. However, don’t ignore the idea either — perhaps opening yourself to the positive effects of touch can help you become more receptive to it. Think about it, maybe your discomfort is telling you to explore your feelings about this matter, even talk to someone who can help you process them so that you can, once and for all, gain full understanding of your feelings and perspective enough to possibly make some adjustments.
Then again, we suggest that you just go for it! Take a leap of faith, but not before keeping in mind a few guidelines.
First, hug appropriately. Be sensitive to the needs of the other person. More often than not, we hug people we know. Your loved ones will benefit a lot from your hugs so hug often! Then again, you may be compelled to hug someone you don’t really know but that you feel needs a little sympathy. Reach out gently to that person and see whether they are receptive to a hug from you.
Choose an appropriate time and place to hug – which is practically anywhere and anytime. The office during work hours may not be the right time and place to hug unless there is a pressing enough reason to do so! However, it’s the thought that counts and often, a supportive pat is enough to tell a person you are there for him or her.
Second, hug fully. We scenes in movies where two socialites “air kiss” or fake hug. Definitely, this is not the way to hug! A hug is full-bodied, tight, and often done with total regard for the other person. It need not be a frontal hug, a side hug with one arm can also be appropriate. What counts is that you are fully invested in the hug – the other person can tell when you’re faking it!
Third, hug often! American psychologist and educator Virginia Satir (1916-1988) suggests that “We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.” Now, Satir’s quote came way before the touch therapy trend but it couldn’t be truer! The point is that hugging (and touching) often helps a person grown physically, emotionally and mentally.
Fourth, be open to hugging. We need to be open to the idea of reaching out to someone and being there for them. Families grow and are nurtured by affection – make hugging a practice at your home. Relationships are strengthened by touch – hug your partner often. Children thrive on healthy hugs – let your kids know you love them without words. Finally, hugging is not just good for your health, it’s also free!
One last word, there are those who we love who are no longer around to be hugged. Maybe you think you missed the chance to hug them, or maybe you simply miss them. How about lighting a candle in remembrance and imagining that they’re still there hugging you?
References:
- G.C. Anderson, et al. “Early skin-to-skin contact for mothers and their healthy newborn infants.” Cochrane Pregnancy and Childbirth Group Cochrane Database of Systematic Review, Vol. 2 (2005).
- “Hugs and heart health: The side effects of this medicine are all good!” Smart Heart Living. Article on line at http://www.smart-heart-living.com/hugs-and-heart.html
Happy Hugs!!
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